Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Randomize
