if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize