dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
