you guys were way drunker than both of me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
