I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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