Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
