I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
worst night to have a conscience
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
