Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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