Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
