And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When did angry sex become our thing?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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