he shaved USA in his pubs
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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