Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
