Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
