Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
