Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
