The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
