mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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