god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i drank out of a bidet.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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