yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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