dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
