so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
