I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
