Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
