yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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