Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
