You really coming over, don't trick.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
