STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
