But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
