Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
