we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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