i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
