Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
