In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
do herpes really smell.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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