Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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