Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she told me i tasted like america
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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