Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
