I puked a lego.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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