i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
