I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
