when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You pole danced in your parka.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
