I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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