I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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