Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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