Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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