dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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