My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
