you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
