it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
