she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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