Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize