So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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