We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
