Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It's chlamydia! Thank God!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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