i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
