I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
