that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
