Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize