Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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