just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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