So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Damn victory sex feels great
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
