is your mom at the bar?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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