No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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