Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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