Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
